Dark Sky

A Psalm of Lament
They sky is grey now, it is not as dark as on that fateful day, yet it is harder to bear. Sometimes total darkness bears more hope than a dulling grey because when you are in the deepest pit, the only direction you can go is upward, not downward because you are already at the very bottom.

What is man that you take notice of him? says the psalmist. Who am I who thought he could argue with G-d himself?
I was brazen in my cause, I went up to the chambers of the King daily to petition Him to grant my request. I pleaded with Him, I supplicated Him, I even bargained with Him. But what can man offer in exchange to G-d that He doesn't have already? Can one wager his own life with the One who gives life?
I reasoned with Him. The creation arguing with the Creator. The child with the Father.
What can one do? We do not wield a power over the Almighty. We can ask, ask and ask again. What is there to lose? We can argue, why else would he give us a brain? We can cry, why else would he make us tears?
Yet it all seemed in vain. The sky suddenly became dark, and now it has turned a dull gray with no hope of improvement.
I know the sunlight is there, I know it exists, yet I cannot feel its warmth at this moment.
My food is tasteless, my joy is tamed, my heart is cold.

Before I walked freely into the palace of the King, emboldened by my request, now I stand weak at the gates, waiting to see the splendor of His face, to hear a word of comfort.
I wait for the balm of the one who wounded me. The healing from the one who struck me.
I lift my eyes up to the mountains, from where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth.

-JD

Teshuvá

Teshuvah
por Isabelle Medina Sandoval

Albricias
Primo Rabi
sangre de mi sangre de España.
Munchos años
mas de cuarenta años
vivia mi familia en el desierto de Sinai
sin templo de orar.
Muchos años
mas de cuatrocientos años
vivia mi familia en los desiertos de Mexico
sin templo de orar.
Primo Rabi
siendo de los anusim
que es mi camino de teshuvah?
Necesito templo de orar.
Munchos años
munchos siglos
han pasado en los desiertos
sin templo de orar.
Primo Rabi
semos de la misma raza. Necesito tus consejos.
Estoy muriendo en este desierto eterno de la vida.
Ay, ay, ay, ay. No comprendo mi camino. Necesito llorar.

Esperanzas

Poema por Everardo Treviño Garza

Alma judía,

vida y memoria,

tierra de origen,

tiempo e historia.

Formula magica

de eterna gloria

que liba un pueblo

dandose euforia.

Alma judía

parte al oriente,

volando a diario

alla es presente.

Alma con vida

signo vital,

dio me esperanza

siendo mortal.

Alma y memoria

mi humanidad,

alma e historia,

mi libertad.

Alma y origen

arraigo da,

por mis ancestros

los de Judá.

Con alma y tiempo

vivo mi historia,

grata esperanza

cruel la memoria.

Alma judía

latiendo va,

y a Sion añora

milenios ha......

Hoy que te veo

libre en tus tierras,

alma judía

¿Que es lo que esperas?

Espero a un pueblo

que aun no esta,

el del silencio.....

venid acá.

Pisad mi tierra

es tu heredad,

y en ella aferra

tu libertad.

Que Sion reclama

que Sion te llora,

no habrá mas llamas

en buena hora.

Ven a mis brazos

ya no mas pena,

no mas extraño

en tierra ajena.

Y si no vienes

cual tu deseas,

solo te pido

JUDÍO SEAS.

Mis Ancestros

otro poema por Everardo Treviño Garza:

Al cielo por sinagoga,

y por midrash una cueva,

un sarape por talet,

y por shema, tehilim.

La memoria por Teva

y por Kipot, paliacate.

Hakol en ves de shofar,

y minian en soledad.

Amida sin rezo alterno

y al corazón por jazan,

el tanaj por viejo libro

y también por tefila.

El tebila con romero

y shajrit sin tefilim,

perasha en primer lectura

y la pasion en pesaj.

Sin mohel, incircuncisos,

fiestas patrias en tishrei,

el Kipur en año nuevo

y el descuido por keria.

Selijot en la penumbra,

mas clandestino el minja,

el Arbit entre otros rezos,

y a escondidas el Shabat.

Alia final en la hoguera

para el anusim relapso,

jazak ubaruj dicho en silencio

con avelut y sin tahara.

Como lavar las cenizas?

Como enterrar lo disperso?

Sin bet hajaim, sin avelim,

sin mishmara, sin jebra.

Hashem te hara tahara,

y alla tendras bet hajaim,

tu mishmara en estas lineas,

y eterno Kadish serán.

Hermano judío

De un Israelita, descendiente de los Anusim, para sus hermanos judíos del mundo entero.

Poema por Everardo Treviño Garza.

Aunque el tiempo nos separa

te he llevado en mi interior,

tus penas las siento mías,

tu alegria y tu fervor.

Tus aciertos, tus errores,

tu natura y condición,

tu presencia, tus temores,

tu memoria y tu elección.

Cada vez que sobrevives

refuerzo mi convicción,

y en cada agresión que sufres

se me nubla la razón.

Y por este amor filial

te expreso hoy mi sentir,

el que viene desde siglos

cuando me viste partir.

Desde entonces hubo sombras

y transito otro camino,

mas siendo hermanos Judíos

sabemos nuestro destino.

No sabemos cuanto tiempo?

tardaremos en llegar,

en reunir nuestros andares

hacia la patria ancestral.

Mientras tanto, no estas solo,

yo me uno a tu dolor,

y enjugandonos los ojos

te ofrezco hoy lo que soy.

Huyendo como Jonas,

mis pasos he apresurado

a los confines del mundo,

a los rincones vedados.

Y fui a Tarsis la de Iberia,

hasta que la tempestad me urgió,

cruzando luego el oceano

donde otro altar se erigió.

Desde acá oigo tu llanto

pues de ti no me he alejado,

desde acá siento tu encanto

pues jamas yo te he olvidado.

Sigo mirando al oriente

desde entonces hasta hoy,

con la esperanza de verte

convencido de quien soy.

Por tu valor, yo te admiro,

por tu dolor, va mi amor:

por tu razón, yo me ofrezco,

SOY TU HERMANO, ESO SOY.

Isabel

Estas son las letras de las lagrimas que fluyeron por mi prima Isabel Ceniceros de Medina.

Querida prima Isabel, tu vida fue corta, demasiado corta.

No me gusta el otoño porque es cuando desaparecen las flores,

Y tu, fuiste como una flor que sale en primavera y se va en otoño

Tu resplandór fue hermoso y trajiste belleza y hermosura a la vida

Te recuerdo como en un recuerdo de infancia ya que el destino quiso que no crecieramos juntos

Pero siento el dolor de tu partida como si hubiera pasado una vida entera a tu lado

Lo que recuerdo de ti, es la sonrisa alegre y el espiritu tranquilo, un corazón con mucho amor, y una fortaleza sin temor.

La ultima vez que hablé contigo me dijiste que me despreocupara y confie en la bondad del Todopoderoso

Y ahora los que quedamos nos damos cuenta de que no somos tan fuertes como tu lo eras.

Aunque llevo algunos años sin verte a ti, ya van a ser casi dos años que no dejo de orar por ti.

Dios es mi testigo que tres veces al dia le pedia al Altisimo para que tenga misericordia.

Y por tenerte tan cerca de mi corazón por tanto tiempo, el dolor es ahora sin misericordia

Cada dia en la mañana mi esperanza volvia a nacer al agradecerle al Dador de la Vida

Pero esa mañana tan oscura en que recibí las noticias de tu ida,

No quedó en mis ojos ninguna vida ni alegria.

Mi boca no supo decir nada por el espanto que cayó sobre mí.

Cuando me anunciaron que ya no estabas, volví, en mi estupor, a ser como recien nacido,

Que todo lo que sabe decir al mundo es llorar y gemir.

Ese dia me senté en el suelo con dolor en mi alma, no entró comida ni bebida a mi boca

Lloré ante el que es Todopoderoso para dar vida y le pregunté ¿porqué?

Para mi no hay respuesta ya que para alguien con dolor nada le es razonable.

Pero ahora tu sabes el porque mientras nosotros nos quedamos con las preguntas.

Mi corazón y mi alma lloraron y sangraron por tu ida.

Mi corazón me pesa como plomo cuando pienso en tus pequeños hijos,

Cuando recuerdo el amor que te tiene tu marido, y el dolor que resiente por tu partida

Y cuando recuerdo a todos los que dejaste atrás

Marido, padre, madre, hermanas, hijos e hijas, tios y tias, primos y primas, amigos y amigas

Cada uno en su corazón lleva una marca que dejaste eternamente por tu pasaje tan corto en esta vida.

Se que ahora tu alma, como una pequeña chispa,que bajó a esta tierra a iluminarnos con su luz

Vuela libre de regreso a reunirse con el fuego que es la raiz de todas cosas...Dios

Y tus dias, aunque terminaron y se acabaron aqui abajo en esta tierra, continuarán eternamente en ese lugar que el tiempo no conoce.

Descansa ahora en paz, querida hermana, amiga, y prima

Porque Dios te ha dado descanso de todos tus dolores terrenales

Le pido ahora a Dios que nos de a nosotros una fortaleza como la que fue tuya en tu tiempo de prueba

Que nos ayude a seguir adelante y mantener nuestra fe aún en medio de las dudas.

Algún dia nos volveremos a ver, hasta entonces disfruta de tu nueva vida sin dolor

con amor,

tu primo Jean-Daniel

A Israel, en Exilio

Poema por Yehuda HaLevi

Tú que duermes con corazón en vela, ardiente y triste:
¡Sal, despierta y camina a la luz de mi rostro!
¿Levanta, cabalga venturoso!, ¿surgió para ti una estrella!
El que yacía en el pozo ascendió a la cima del Sinaí.
Que no se regocijen quienes dicen "asolada está
Sión", pues allí está mi corazón, allí mis ojos.
Ya me revele o me oculte, me irrite o me aplaque,
¿quién se apiadará más que yo de mis hijos?

Out of Darkness comes Light

In the midst of exile we find the promise of Redemption. The seed of redemption is sown in the soil of exile. The exile might be long, but it will surely bring forth the Redemption.

Even in the mourning of Av, we can see the glimmer of hope already on the horizon.

Another poem by Yehuda HaLevi

To Israel in Exile

O Sleeper whose heart is awake, burning and raging, now wake and go forth,

and walk in the light of my presence.

Rise, and ride on! A star has come forth for you, and he who has lain in the pit will

go up to the top of Sinai.

Let them not exult, those who say, 'Zion is desolate! - for My heart is in Zion and My eyes are there. I reveal Myself and I conceal Myself, now I rage, now I consent - but who has more compassion than I have for My children?

A cry from my soul...

Israel, you have captured my soul, you have enslaved me by your beauty.

I am in a kind of prison since the day we parted.

How can I rejoice when I am far from you oh Jerusalem? How can I enjoy the goodness of your feasts while I am far away? How can I delight in your rest while I am a slave dwelling far from your tents?

I cry for you when I remember the joy that was mine when I was by your side.

Now I celebrate your feasts in a far away land, and I try to comfort my soul as I whisper to myself "Next Year in Jerusalem"...

Day after day I toil for you, the sweat on my brow testifies to my love for you.

I find no rest for my weary soul in the midst of the nations.

Why is the road so long? I reach for you my beloved, do stretch forth your hand in mercy!

Do not turn your eyes away from your lover, I keep them continually before me.

I whisper my prayers to the Almighty thrice daily, pleading as the ancient generations to be granted to see your face and to live and die by your side.

To see once again your walls O Jerusalem! To enjoy the breeze of the Sea by your shore Asher! To drink fully of the sunset in your mountains O Carmiel; To smell the perfume of your flowers O Kinneret; To climb to the top of the ancient Hermon; To rest on the shores of the Yarden; To drink from the wells of Ein Gedi; and admire the sterile beauty of the Negev!

My Beloved! reach for me as I do for you! I shall not rest until I be able to bless the Name of the Lord within your walls O Jerusalem!

Remember your lost sons O Zion, make room in your tent, prepare a feast for that day will be full of laughter and joy when we will make our way to your door, when the exile will be forgotten and all your sons reunited with you.

-JD

Marriage Song

A poem by Yehudah ha-Levi

Fair is my dove, my loved one,
None can with her compare:
Yea, comely as Jerusalem,
Like unto Tirzah fair.

Shall she in tents unstable
A wanderer abide,
While in my heart awaits her
A dwelling deep and wide?

The magic of her beauty
Has stolen my heart away:
Not Egypt's wise enchanters
Held half such wondrous sway.

Even as the changing opal
In varying luster glows,
Her face at every moment
New charms and sweetness shows.

White lilies and red roses
There blossom on one stem:
Her lips of crimson berries
Tempt mine to gather them.

By dusky tresses shaded
Her brow gleams fair and pale,
Like to the sun at twilight,
Behind a cloudy veil.

Her beauty shames the day-star,
And makes the darkness light:
Day in her radiant presence
Grows seven times more bright.

This is a lonely lover!
Come, fair one, to his side,
That happy be together
The bridegroom and the bride!

The hour of love approaches
That shall make one of twain:
Soon may be thus united
All Israel's hosts again!

Sabbath, My Love

A poem by Yehudah ha-Levi

I greet my love with wine and gladsome lay;
Welcome, thrice welcome, joyous Seventh Day!

Six slaves the weekdays are; I share
With them a round of toil and care,
Yet light the burdens seem, I bear
For your sweet sake, Sabbath, my love!

On the First-day to the accustomed task
I go content, nor reward ask,
Save in your smile, at length, to bask --
Day blessed of God, Sabbath, my love!

Is the Second-day dull, the Third-day unbright?
Hide sun and stars from the Fourth-day's sight?
What need I care, who have your light,
Orb of my life, Sabbath, my love!

The Fifth-day, joyful tidings ring:
"The morrow shall your freedom bring!"
At dawn a slave, at eve a king --
God's table waits, Sabbath, my love!

On the Sixth-day does my cup overflow,
What blissful rest the night shall know,
When, in your arms, my toil and woe
Are all forgotten, Sabbath, my love!

Now it's dusk. With sudden light distilled
From one sweet face, the world is filled;
The tumult of my heart is stilled --
For you have arrived, Sabbath, my love!

Bring fruits and wine, and sing a cheerful lay,
Chant: "Come in peace, O blissful Seventh Day!"

On the Sea

A poem by Yehuda ha Levi

Translated by Nina Salaman

I.
My God, break not the breakers of the sea,
Nor command to the deep, "Become dry".
Until I thank Your mercies, and I thank
The waves of the sea and the wind of the west;
Let them propel me to the place of the yoke of Your love,
And bear far from me the Arab yoke.
And how shall my desires not find fulfillment,
Seeing as I trust in You, and You are pledged to me?

II.
Has the flood come again and made the world a waste
So that one cannot see the face of the dry land,
And no man is there and no beast and no bird?
Have they all come to an end and lain down in sorrow?
To see even a mountain or a marsh would be a rest for me,
And the desert itself would be sweet.
But I look on every side and there is nothing
But water and sky and ark,
And Leviathan causing the abyss to boil,
So that one considers the deep to be hoary,
And the heart of the sea conceals the ship
As though she were a stolen thing in the sea's hand.
As the sea rages, my soul is jubilant -
For my ship draws near to the sanctuary of her God.

III.
To You my soul turns in trust or fear,
It is to you that she always gives thanks and worship;
In You I rejoice on the day I wander forth and flee,
And You I thank in every flight and wandering. -
Indeed, when the ship, to bear me over, spreads out wings like the wings of a stork,
And when the deep groans and roars beneath me,
As though it had learned from my own entrails,
And makes the abyss to boil like a pot,
Indeed, turns the sea into a pot of burning ointment;
And when the ship from Kittim comes to the sea of the Philistines
And the Hittites come down to the stronghold;
And when creatures press upon the ship
And sea-monsters watch for food,
And there is a time of trouble as of one that brings forth her first child,
When children have approached their birth
But there is no strength to bring them forth.
And though I should lack for food and drink,
I take the sweetness of Your name into my mouth for sustenance;
And I have no care for worldly goods,
Nor for treasures nor for any perishables -
Even so far that I can leave behind [in Spain] her that went forth of my loins,
Sister of my soul - and she my only daughter -
And I can forget her son, though it pierces my heart,
And I have nothing left but his memory for a symbol -
Fruit of my loins, child of my delight -
Ah! How should Yehudah forget [my grandson] Yehudah?
But this is a light thing compared to Your love,
Since I may enter Your gates with thanksgiving,
And sojourn there, and count my heart
A burnt offering bound upon Your altar;
And may make my grave in Your land,
So that it be there a witness for me.

IV.
This is your wind, O perfumed west,
With spikenard and apple in his wings!
You come forth of the treasures of the spice traders -
You are not of the treasures of the wind.
You propel me on swallow's wings, and proclaim liberty for me;
Like pure myrrh from the bundle of spices you have selected.
How men must long for you, which for your sake
Ride over the crest of the sea on the back of a plank!
Stay not your hand from the ship
Either when day abides or in the cool breath of the night;
But beat out the deep, and tear the heart of the seas
And touch the holy mountains, and there will you rest.
Reprimand the east wind which tosses the sea into tempest
Until he makes its heart like a seething pot.
What shall the captive do, in the hand of God,
One moment held back, and one moment sent forth free?
Truly the secret of my quest is in the hand of the Highest,
Who formed the mountain heights and created the wind.

V.
My desire for the living God has constrained me
To seek the place of the throne of my annointed -
Even so that it has not suffered me to kiss
The children of my house, my friends, and my brethren;
And that I do not weep for the orchard which I planted and watered,
Nor for my green shoots that prospered;
And that I abandoned Yehudah and Azariel,
My two beautiful choice flowers;
And Yitzhak, whom I counted as my child,
Fruit of the sun, best of the growth of my moons;
And that I have all but forgotten the house of prayer
In whose place of learning was my rest,
And that I forget the delights of my Sabbaths,
The beauty of my festivals, the glory of my Passovers,
And have given my glory unto others,
And renounced my praise unto graven images.
I have exchanged my abode for a shadow of shrubs,
And for a hedge in the thicket my strong bars;
My soul is satisfied with the chief spices,
And the scent of the thornbush I use now for perfume;
And I have ceased to walk with my face bending to the ground [in forced servility to other men]
But have set my paths in the heart of the seas -
With the ultimate goal that I may find the footstool of my God,
And be able to pour out my soul with my thoughts,
And stand at the threshold of His holy mount and set open
Towards the doors of Heaven's gates, my doors,
And suffer my spikenard to flower by the waters of the Jordan,
And put forth my shoots by Siloah.
The Lord is with me, how shall I fear or dread,
Since the angel of His mercy bears my weapons?
I shall praise His name while I still am alive,
And thank Him for eternity.

VI.
I say in the heart of the seas to the quaking heart,
Fearing greatly because they lift up their waves;
If you believe in God who made the sea,
And whose Name stands for eternity,
The sea shall not frighten you when its waves rise up,
For with you is One who has set a bound to the sea.

VII.
I cry out to God with a melting heart and knees that strike against each other,
While anguish is in all loins,
On a day when the oarsmen are astounded at the deep,
When even the pilots find not their hands.
How shall I be otherwise, since I, on a ship's deck,
Suspended between the waters and the heavens,
Am dancing and tossed about?
But this is merely a light thing,
If I may eventually hold a joyous dance in the midst of you, O Jerusalem!

VIII.
Call greeting unto daughters and relatives,
Peace to brothers and to sisters,
From the captive of hope who is possessed by the sea,
And has placed his spirit in the hand of the winds,
Thrust by the hand of the west into the hand of the east:
This one passes to lead on, and that one to thrust back.
Between him and death is but a step,
Yes, between them is merely the thickness of a plank;
Buried alive in a coffin of wood,
Upon no floor, with no four cubits of earth,
Nor even with less.
He sits - he cannot stand upon his feet,
He lies down - he cannot stretch them forth;
Sick and afraid because of the heathen
And because of the marauders and the winds.
The pilot and the mariner, and all their rabble -
They are the rulers and captains there.
Fame is not to the wise, nor yet favor to skilled men,
Save only to those that have skill to swim.
My face is troubled at this for a moment
(How should the innermost heart rejoice?),
Until I pour out my soul into the bosom of God,
Before the place of the Ark and the altars,
And bestow upon God, who bestows good things upon the unworthy,
The goodness of songs and praise.

עם ישראל חי

Am Israel Chai